Attorney Mark Scroggins: Telling your spouse you want a divorce

Attorney Mark Scroggins

When you want a divorce from your spouse there are a few realities for which you must prepare. The moment your spouse learns you want a divorce your life as you knew it has changed. If you know you are going to file for divorce you can decide if and how you tell your spouse. If you don’t tell your spouse, they are going to find out you want a divorce by surprise when they are served. To the extent you can craft the first movement, you might be able to have a better tone during your divorce. Being surprised by a constable serving you papers can catch your spouse off guard and lead to a temporary state of shock and feelings of trauma.

 

People react to surprise and anxiety in a variety of ways.

When you know you want a divorce there it is likely that your spouse is also aware that there are problems in the marriage and a split might be inevitable. Telling your spouse, you want a divorce is one of the hardest things you may have ever done. The person to whom you have been married is someone who trusts you, and by telling them you want a divorce, you are changing their life. If there is a softest and most caring way to break the news you can prevent the surprise from being as traumatic. If your spouse learns you want a divorce through being served, their trust is almost certainly gone. The other is not going to quickly stop thinking, “You did not have the courage to tell me to my face.”

 

Preparing yourself for telling your spouse you want a divorce.

When you can tell your spouse you want a divorce, and it is not a situation of family violence where your safety might be compromised, you can help shape the tone of the divorce. When you know your spouse well you can better anticipate how they react, what they might say and what questions they are likely to ask.

 

Figuring out how to break the news that you want a divorce is just as hard as actually doing the act of telling your spouse. Like many things that are difficult in our lives, it is easy to keep putting it off. During that time, you might reconsider the relationship in your head, as your spouse does some of the things you like, and then does some of the things that make you want a divorce.

 

Being receptive to feedback and the reaction by your spouse.

You may think you know how your spouse will react to telling them you want a divorce, but you may be surprised. While one reaction is acceptance that the marriage is over and you both realize it, your spouse may suggest marriage counseling and working on things or taking a temporary break and separate for a few weeks or more. Their reaction might cause you to reconsider whether you want the divorce and it can be confusing when things do nut unravel like they do in your imagination of what would happen.

 

Being prepared to tell your spouse you want a divorce means being prepared for life to be dynamic and for people to react to change and the division and reorganization of families. At Scroggins Legal we work to be clear with our clients in setting their expectations before and during divorce.

 

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Texas Board Certified* divorce and family law attorney Mark Scroggins and the team at Scroggins Legal in Plano, Texas represent clients in a variety of divorce and family law matters.

At Scroggins Legal, we have more than 20 years of experience with family law cases in Dallas, Collin and Denton Counties. When you retain our firm, you can trust that your case is in the hands of a highly skilled, dedicated professional. We understand the unique challenges of a high value divorce case, and more importantly, have the knowledge and experience you need on your side. Call us today, (469) 626-5220, to learn more about Texas divorce and family law.

 

To learn more about the attorneys at our Plano, Texas office and all the different ways we can help you, please feel free to Contact Us on our website.

 

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Considering divorce? Get started today with an initial consultation by calling (469) 626-5220.